Conversational Intimacy


This is an interesting term, and is probably not found in many Christian psychology textbooks or other Christian writings, but it ought to be.  This is because at the center of all God-Human and Human-Human relationships is intimacy – the more intimacy the better, meaning personally satisfying and energizing to the relationship and vice-versa.  Without using the word intimacy Jesus was trying to get His followers to understand this through His personal witness in His interaction with His Father.  Jesus spent a lot of time in conversational prayer with His heavenly Father, as is indicated here:

Lk 6:12 – In these days He went out to the mountain to pray, and all night He continued in prayer to God.

The result of conversational prayer for Jesus was intimacy with His Father, and they became so close through conversation that Jesus was able to say this:

Jn 10:30 – I and…

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Marital Intimate Comfort


When we think of comfort, pictures of one person trying to reduce or remove the pain of another come to mind.  But it often is provided at a low level of, or with no, connection.  For some, comfort means food, as they dig into the freezer to attack the ice cream in an attempt to lower their suffering level within their own power.  With intimacy it is a little different.  Comfort is provided AND received in a sincere and genuine way; so much so that even though one spouse cannot actually feel the pain or discomfort of another nor take it away; they enter into the struggle against that pain together.  This intimate comfort is closely aligned with the words “compassion” which means to struggle with, and empathy, which means to understand and share in the feelings of others.  When our mate is suffering, intimate comfort says we must be…

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How to Change Your Life in 5 Seconds

LifeSTAR Central Valley Blog

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We are all looking for a simpletool that leads to significant shifts in our behavior. The 5 Second Rule, created by Mel Robbins, is one such tool. If you’re interested in learning how to change your life in 5 seconds, take a few minutes to watch the video below. This powerful exercise can lead to massive changes, one choice at a time.

–By Forest Benedict, LMFT, SATP, Clinical Director of LifeSTAR of the Central Valley If you benefited from this article, please “follow” us on this blog and on Twitter, “like” us on Facebook, and SHARE this article and blog with others. Thank you!

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A Video Worth Sharing – Dear Porn: A Father’s Letter

LifeSTAR Central Valley Blog

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I created this powerful video to challenge fathers (and all parents) to wake-up and engage in the battle to protect children from pornography. Learn how you can oppose pornography in your personal life and in the lives of the most vulnerable among us: our children. Please help us share this VERY important message.


Forest Benedict, LMFT, SATP, Clinical Director of LifeSTAR of the Central Valley. If you benefited from this article, please “follow” us on this blog and on Twitter, “like” us on Facebook, and SHARE this article and blog with others. Thank you!

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[Revealed] How porn affects marriages

Evict Rape Africa

Hello buddies! It’s another great time to share some drinks over some real issues. As i said in one of my previous posts, the purpose of discussing pornography on this blog is because it’s been postulated to have links with the unbridled sexual passion that drive many men crazy.

You can check up our archives to catch up with the posts issues on this series. I remember hearing a married man say that he has bought a couple of porn videos to watch with his wife so as to boost her declining libido. Is this really a remedy? Does porn really help to spice up the sex life of couples? We will find out right now. Just as I have been doing so far on this series, I will show you empirical data obtained from thorough research and surveys:

According to the Journal of Adolescent Health, prolonged exposure to pornography…

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Journal Through Recovery Entry 32: Shame Is Selfish


I love meetings. I hear stuff that I just don’t believe at first. Ok, I know this is a goofy path for a journal entry but hang with me. I believe and the Bible is clear that God reveals Himself to us in many ways including reading His word, prayer, being still and shutting up and listening, worship, and even yes even other people. That includes recovery meetings. See, God LOVES revealing himself to me in recovery meetings. Only, I am too thick to see Him coming most of the time.

So I am going to shamelessly steal this incredible share that a friend of mine used recently in the Thursday night group. Yes, you know who you are. He announced very proudly that tonight his topic would be on shame. I seriously felt the air leave the room. If it was a larger group, you would have audibly heard…

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Lift the Lid: 3 Ways to Raise the Level of Your Marriage

Blog Thoughts of Pastor Dave Barringer

I’m an eclectic reader.  As a pastor, my “reading bent” may be toward marital subjects, but I like to read on a variety of topic as I desire to constantly grow. And what I find myself doing is, as I read, I journal thoughts for personal reflection and make notes for future/potential sermon use.

It was about a month ago, I came across a couple of observations about Proverbs 31. The chapter, itself, has been historically known as the “Virtuous Woman.” I’ve heard it taught on, many times, as the “check-list” for how a woman ought to live.

But these two observations had nothing to do with an inventory of actions for a wife to live up to. They were two very refreshing takes on this beautiful chapter.

First,  Proverbs 31 was a blessing that Hebrew men memorized and sang over their wives. Not only was their time and effort made to…

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