Guys: Emotions Matter, Are Normal, and You’re Not a Weak Pussy for Having Them

Must Be This Tall To Ride

man sad with grief (Image/Aidan Nworks) Author’s Note: I think the #1 problem in the world is how poorly humans manage their relationships. Even if you disagree, follow my logic, please. The biggest influence on whether our lives suck or are awesome is the quality of our closest relationships. For most of our lives, that’s the relationship with our spouses or long-term romantic partners. While it would be nice for everyone everywhere to get along—because of the huge problems caused by our Us vs. Them mentality—I still believe it all comes back to husbands and wives, or two committed partners in general. Human conflict is problematic everywhere. But when it’s two people who decided to pool their resources and have promised to love one another forever, and make and share children? It’s a crisis. The ripple-effect consequences know no bounds. Divorce breaks people, and then broken people break other things.

I think the #1…

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Safety and Trust in Relationships: Those Words Don’t Mean What You Think They Mean

Must Be This Tall To Ride

woman hiding under table (Image/Crosswalk.com)

Author’s Note: I think the #1 problem in the world is how poorly humans manage their relationships. Even if you disagree, follow my logic, please. The biggest influence on whether our lives suck or are awesome is the quality of our closest relationships. For most of our lives, that’s the relationship with our spouses or long-term romantic partners. Human conflict is problematic everywhere. But when it’s two people who decided to pool resources and promised to love one another forever, and make and share children? It’s a crisis. The ripple-effect consequences know no bounds. Divorce breaks people, and then broken people break other things.

I think the #1 cause of divorce is relationship-damaging behavior by men who honestly don’t recognize it. Good men with good intentions who damage their wives’ emotional and mental health with behaviors they don’t understand to be as damaging as they are.

How? Why? There are…

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The Things We Don’t Teach Men (And How It Ruins Everything)

Must Be This Tall To Ride

father holding baby son (Image/abc.net.au)

The world fails men.

We fail everyone, but we fail men in particular. And that failure leads to a countless number of men—some incredibly smart, talented, strong, brave, and decent men—achieving positions of influence where they inevitably perpetuate the cycle of collectively failing men, and by proxy, all of the women and children in their sphere of influence.

Husbands.

Fathers.

Big brothers.

Best friends.

Business leaders.

Celebrity influencers.

Politicians.

Coaches.

Educators.

Commanding officers.

Group leaders.

Classmates.

Teammates and tribesmen.

What men in these positions think, believe, do, feel and say affects countless people—the ripple effects of which can last for centuries.

Many of these guys are amazingly virtuous. Many are trying their best every day to live according to the values instilled in them. They’re simply following the examples of their male role models from their youth.

These aren’t evil men Muahahaha-ing and fist-bumping a bunch of other sadistic…

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The Taxonomy of Married Men, Vol. 1

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Must Be This Tall To Ride

taxonomy illustration (Image/aiim.org)

Tax·on·o·my – /takˈsänəmē/ – The classification of something.

Here’s the breakdown:

1. Husbands

All husbands fall into one of two camps, which for the purpose of this exercise, require defining.

A. Good men.

A good man is the kind of person you’d let spend the night in your house without hesitation. A good man can be trusted to care for your children and pets. A good man is generally kind, honest, reliable, respectful, polite, loving and demonstrates loyalty and commitment to his family, friends, co-workers, teammates, etc. A good man is not perfect. But his Pros in the character department far outweigh his Cons.

B. Bad men.

A bad man does not care — even a little bit — how his actions affect others. He hurts people physically and emotionally without remorse. He cons people in order to take advantage of them. He lies. Cheats. Steals. Rapes. Murders. Abuses…

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7 Relationship Questions People Are Secretly Asking (and Maybe a Few Answers)

Must Be This Tall To Ride

fountain of knowledge headwaters at Texas Tech - image-pinterest Headwaters fountain at Texas Tech University. (Image/Pinterest)

Thousands of people find Must Be This Tall To Ride articles every day because of questions they asked the internet. I just conducted a semi-thorough inspection of the questions and keywords people typed into search engines to find articles here.

If you want to know what’s in someone’s heart, you need only know what questions they ask in privacy, or when no one’s watching.

These are the big questions that a lot of people are most often asking about their marriages and dating relationships.

1. Why is my husband an asshole?

This is the No. 1 question driving internet traffic to this website, and has been since 2013.

Those people usually end up here.

Variations:Why is my husband mean to me and nice to everyone else? Why is my husband such a jerk? Why is my husband such a piece of…

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Jesus Never Said

Applyingmybeliefs

I hear statements made that begin with those words – Jesus never said.  As my faith began to build over the years I have become wary of all statements like that.  Whenever I hear that or its many variations, I think of this interesting piece of  scripture:

Gen 3:1-2 – Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the Lord God had made.  He said to the woman, “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?”

Although the scripture doesn’t actually say this was the devil speaking, it is traditionally thought that the snake/serpent was indwelt by him.  The talking serpent says “Did God actually say?” an equivalent statement to “Jesus never said” in motivation.  They are both denials of God’s truth in an attempt to get something the speaker wants.  I guess there is a small lesson…

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Understanding Negative Emotions

Applyingmybeliefs

When we think about emotions, we regurgitate what we have always been taught by others, and what we have personally experienced.  We segregate emotions into good and bad, we listen to songs like “I feel good”, or “Don’t worry, be happy.”  And we get on that carousel of life going round and round into and out of emotional states that feel “good” or “bad.”  When we feel bad we sometimes self-medicate.  What if there were no “bad” emotions, would we be able to see how we feel in a new way, and wouldn’t that help us to respond to them in ways that don’t involve drinking, drugging and sex?

Just so we know what we’re talking about here is a list of 10 major emotions we often call negative, bad or difficult, in alphabetical order:

  • Anger, Anxiety, Frustration, Guilt, Jealousy, Loneliness, Rejected, Sad, Shame, and Vengeful.

The question put in…

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