Seeking Nurturing


This is the third in a series of ways we exhibit low quality mental health in normal everyday life.  As a reminder, I claimed in a previous blog that every human, with the exception of Jesus, that ever existed or will exist, up to the moment God makes all things new, is mentally ill or if you prefer, has imperfect mental health.  The first of this series, my previous blog to this, was about not asking for help, the second was on the subject of inner permission.  This one is a sub-set of what I would call self-love or possibly self-care; it is about not seeking nurturance from self, others or God.

  • Nurturing – the process of caring for and encouraging the growth or development of someone or something.

We are designed to be nurtured.  As a very young child we are pre-wired by God to seek physical and psychological…

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I Do Not Like That


This is the fourth subject in my look at ways we are expressing poor mental health in everyday life.  This one deals with sex, but won’t be graphic.

In his book “The Road Less Traveled” (Which is one of my all-time favorite books!) M. Scott Peck says this:

  • Mental health is a commitment to reality at all times.

Nowhere in our everyday mental health life is this truer than in our handling of sexual issues within committed relationships – in my opinion.

How real are we in the sexual part of our committed relationships?

Let me state, as a pastor, that there is only one form of committed relationship that allows a human to engage in sexual activity, that is a monogamous marriage between a man and a woman.  I will also acknowledge that there are other forms of committed relationships that have sexual engagement as a normal part of…

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An Open Letter to Shitty Husbands, Vol. 1

Must Be This Tall To Ride

Photo by Mike Klemme A tradition unlike any other?
Photo by Mike Klemme

Dear Shitty Husband,

Yep. You.

I know what you’re thinking. It’s one of, or some combination of, the following:

  1. I’m not a shitty husband! I work 50-hour-plus weeks to pay for our house, and our cars, and our vacations, and her jewelry, and the kids’ activities. I love my wife and family!
  2. I’m not a shitty husband! I would do ANYTHING for my wife.
  3. I’m not a shitty husband! I fix things around the house that need fixed. I mow the lawn, and walk the dog, and take out the trash, and help change diapers, and run the kids to their little league games.
  4. I’m not a shitty husband! I always make sure she has an orgasm when we have sex once a week!
  5. I’m not a shitty husband! I don’t drink excessively, I’m drug-free, I work out, I don’t hit…

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How does Marriage Fit In with a Spiritual Life? Is There Marriage in Heaven?

Spiritual Insights for Everyday Life

Is marriage biological, social, or spiritual?

Answer: All of the above. Not to mention divine.

Yes, we humans have the same biological drives to mate and reproduce as the rest of the higher animals. And yes, marriage does help to provide social stability and a healthy environment for raising children—assuming the marriages themselves are healthy.

But marriage goes far beyond biology and sociology. At least it does according to Emanuel Swedenborg, who published a controversial book on the subject back in the eighteenth century. Marriage, says Swedenborg, is a spiritual and eternal relationship because it comes from the very nature of God.

What? Is God married?

Yes . . . but it’s not what you’re thinking! There is not a marriage between male and female deities and a whole family of little gods and goddesses running around some celestial Mount Olympus. Instead, there is a marriage of divine love…

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Journal Through Recovery Entry 04: Isolating


“So how often are you reaching out to the guys in your recovery groups?”

That was what my counselor asked me yesterday in my session with him. Reaching out?  Does he mean like actually talking to them or just being in group?  No, he meant actually texting and calling other men to “talk.”  There was just one thing my counselor didn’t know.  I don’t know how to reach out and actually talk to men.  These are guys who have problems.  They have issues and they share them openly so I know what they are struggling with.  Why would I want to reach out to them and talk to them?

“You need to start working on building intimacy with other men. It’s how you learn to build relationships.”

Ok, is he really serious? What am I supposed to talk about? And to whom? I know they pass a phone list around…

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